A Caramel Macchiato with a Shot of Efficiency

I don’t drink coffee. In fact, I haven’t touched caffeine since 2006. I had a lot of work to do today, though, and I was exhausted this morning. I could barely keep my eyes open, which isn’t good when I’m talking to my boss. So I decided to break my anti-caffeination streak and visit the Starbucks that we conveniently keep in our cafeteria. I had no idea what to get, but I just wanted to wake up.

Starbucks is Evil and Beautiful

Why is ordering coffee such a formidable activity? I’ve soloed in a plane, jumped out of a helicopter, met the former President of the United States, but I’m always nervous when I walk up to the barista. Does Starbucks purposefully complicate the menu to trick us into spending more money? I still don’t know which is the biggest – a venti, a tall, or a grande.

Regardless, I asked for “the smallest possible size.” Because I’m a caramel aficionado, I ordered the Caramel Macchiato (whatever that second word means). I drank it at my desk, and something magical happened. Those dimethylxanthines kicked into my bloodstream and my productivity shot through the roof. I usually have small piles of stuff to do on my desk – by the end of the day my desk was clear, I had done half of next week’s tasks, and I volunteered to help my coworker landscape her lawn.

I remember now why I went off caffeine in the first place – addiction sucks. But without that annoying caffeine tolerance, today rocked.

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